Five years ago, everything changed in an instant one weekend in December. Her brother had been shot and killed in the line of duty, and his killer had gotten away. I spent my days buried in work trying to track down his killer, while she sat at home not only blaming herself but everyone else for what had happened. Included in that everyone else, was me, her fiancΓ©e, and his partner. Unfortunately, that blame drove a rift between us that neither of us knew how to fix.
I was always told that time healed everything. It’s been five years. In that time, I spent my days at work, and my nights with women trying to release the hold Bailey still had on me. I’ve also been trying to release the guilt I’ve felt from that night.
I was doing pretty good until my best friend and partner tells me that he is getting married and he wants me to be his best man. Problem is, Bailey Scott, the girl who’d ripped my heart out is the brides to be maid of honor. She was finally returning, and I knew the moment I would lay eyes on her, I would do whatever it took to win her back.
S.L. Sterling’s, Letting You Go is a sexy, emotionally charged, slow burn second chance romance that will leave you swooning.
I looked at my best friend and shook my head. “What did I think about what?”
Cara gave me a knowing look and smiled. “Well, about Jackson. What did you think?”
I blew out a breath and shrugged, rubbing both of my temples again as the pain shot through my head at her question. “What am I supposed to think? He’s still hot, I guess.”
“Still hot, you guess. Bailey, any woman would have to be dead not to notice that man. Those blue eyes against that dark, tanned skin, dark, thick hair, those shoulders, abs, hands, that ass…” She winked.
“Whoa, aren’t you supposed to be getting married in, like, eight weeks?”
“Yes, of course, and I’m very committed to Ryan. But come on, Bailey, you can’t seriously say that you wouldn’t or didn’t notice him.”
“I never said that. Besides, that was always the way with him, though. I can still remember the first time I ever laid eyes on him,” I said, picking a piece off the muffin in front of me, getting lost in my thoughts.
“What is it?”
“It’s nothing.” I shrugged. Even though I was adamant that we were through, a part of me still wanted to know about him, if he was involved with someone. I wanted to know who held his heart in her hands now. “So, tell me, what do you want to plan for this wedding?”
“Oh no, don’t you dare change the subject! Just ask me the question that I know is eating away at you?”
I looked at my best friend, her eyes shining with mischief. She could always read me like a book. “What question might that be?” I smiled. Two could play this game.
“Bailey, as if you don’t want to know?”
“Listen, I came here to talk about someone’s wedding, not about what happened last night at The Crooked Judge, nor about Jackson Walker. Now, could we please get on with things?”
Cara shrugged. “I just figured you’d want to know whether he was single because somewhere in that heart of yours, I know you’re dying to ask. I also know that somewhere deep down inside, you still care about him, and don’t pretend you don’t.”
I shook my head and looked out the window just in time to see a Sunset Cove cruiser drive down the road. I bit my bottom lip to stop the tears I could feel building in my eyes at the fact that he could very well be happily involved with someone, maybe even have kids. What bothered me the most was the fact that if he had that, then the thought of us having another chance together would be taken away instantly. I’d have lost out on him. I turned back to face the only girl who truly knew me.
“Look, he’s obviously with someone. I mean, he could barely even look at me last night. He certainly didn’t want to speak to me. Do you know he couldn’t even ask me questions in relation to what had happened? Also, that as soon as his partner had finished, he ran out of there faster than the gang member who started the whole thing.”
Cara stuck her spoon into her coffee and added another sugar packet before looking up at me. “Imagine that the man whose heart you ripped out doesn’t want anything to do with you. That’s shocking.”
“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”
“No, I don’t think it’s harsh to tell the truth. You, Bailey Scott, ripped that man’s heart out, tore it into little pieces, stomped on it, and left it in the dirt. Proof’s in the pudding. You can ask anyone around here. They will tell you the same I am going to. That since you left, he hasn’t been in one relationship, but…”
I frowned, “But what?” I questioned, waiting for her to continue.
“…but he’s been with everyone.”
“Everyone?” I looked at her in shock, thinking about every woman who’d wanted a piece of him when he’d been mine.
She nodded. “Sadly, yes, ever since you left. He’s had what we used to refer to as bedroom cheerleaders, but he lets no one get close to him.”
I blinked to clear my vision from the tears that were now burning my eyes. The information she had just given me struck a chord, and I no longer wanted to discuss Jackson, or hear about the current sex life of my former fiancΓ©e.
“Bailey?” Cara reached across the table and placed her hand on mine. “Are you okay?”
I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I reached into my purse and pulled out a small notebook and began writing.
“Okay, so the wedding. We have what, about eight weeks to get this thing together?” I said, completely changing the subject, pretending everything was okay.
“Bailey?
I looked up from the notebook in front of me and met Cara’s eyes. I could tell from the look on her face she knew I was upset about what she’d told me.
“I’m sorry if I upset you,” she whispered.
I didn’t doubt she didn’t want to upset me, but hearing those words fall from her mouth had done just that. It stung knowing the truth.
“Look, you didn’t upset me. I guess I’m just hurt. I have only been with one man since we split, and he’s been with an entire town.” I inhaled, focusing on my breath, like my therapist had taught me, and looked at Cara. “To be honest, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. So instead, let’s talk about bigger, and better things, okay? Like your wedding. Now, tell me, what do you need me to do?”
She respected my wishes and reached into her purse, pulling out a purple planner, flipping it open to a page that she had scrawled some information.
“Well, I thought perhaps you could help me choose a color scheme, flowers, food selection and then arrange the seating plan. You were always good with that sort of thing.”
I nodded. “Of course. Do we have a list of the wedding party and a guest list?” I said, making some notes for myself.
“We do. We are keeping it relatively small. You know, friends, family and a few work people. I think everyone has been waiting for this wedding, so we are pretty sure everyone we invite will attend. I’m just about finished with the invitations and am hoping to get them out later today.”
“Okay. That is one thing off our plates. Now, what about the wedding party?”
Cara bit her bottom lip and flipped through a few pages in her journal. Then she lifted the book up off the table toward her so I couldn’t see what had been written on the page in front of her.
“We have what you would call a rough list.” She said, biting her lip and looking down at the page in front of her.
“We can work with a rough list. It would help if I could I see it?” I asked, holding my hand out.
Instead of handing me the book, she dropped it off the edge of the table and down onto her lap. “No, you can’t. I think we need to make a few adjustments or two, maybe three, before you see it.”
I gave Cara an annoyed look. “Before I can see it? Cara, I can’t make accurate plans without it. What is the problem? Why won’t you let me see it? It’s just a list of names.”
“I just told you why. It’s just a rough list.”
“Cara? I don’t believe it. You’ve probably had this list planned for nine and a half years,” I said, standing up and reaching for the book, which Cara ripped away and shoved behind her back.
“You’re not seeing it.”
“Cara, I know you know who you want in your wedding party. Hell, you’ve had that list planned out when Jackson and I got engaged. I know because Ryan told him. If you don’t want me to see the list, there is no way I can collaborate with anyone to get anything done. We already have a tight enough window. So that means no parties, no shower, no nothing. Now show me the book.”
“Bailey, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t want to talk about Jackson.”
“What? Cara, just give me the list.” I said, holding my hand out.
Cara slowly placed the book in my hand, and I began reading the list. I hadn’t even gotten down the list when Cara spoke.
“Because Jackson is the best man. He’s your opposite in the wedding party.”
I’m sure my face was filled with shock as I looked over at my friend. I should have known. It was stupid to say I wasn’t expecting this, because I knew full well that he would be part of the wedding party. Ryan and he had been friends since preschool. To think he would have chosen anyone else was just foolish.
I sat there, staring down at our names listed side by side, thinking about all the things we’d be forced to do together, including walk down the aisle.
“It’s okay. I’m going to have Ryan redo his side,” Cara said, pulling the book back over to her.
“He’s the best man?” I swallowed.
Cara nodded. “Like I said, I will have Ryan redo his list. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or to have a hard time. So, we can always just switch one of the other guys into Jackson’s spot. Ryan will understand.”
Even though I really didn’t want to think about or see Jackson, I was here for their wedding. I needed to figure out how to work with him and put our differences aside. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Ryan wouldn’t change it, but it wasn’t fair to ask him, either.
“Look, Cara, don’t,” I said, reaching across the table and placing my hand on hers. “I’m here for your wedding, to stand up for two people I love dearly. I’m here to help you in whatever way I can, and I won’t have Ryan redo his list. I will do my best to put aside my feelings to make your day amazing.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I promise. So, give me the list and I’ll get started on everything.”
“You’re the best,” Cara said, looking up at me and smiling. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”
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